Five tips for living well with anxiety

When we are in an anxious state, our brains may be telling us to do all kinds of things to get rid of that feeling, and it may all seem very urgent. This is because your brain thinks you are in danger and is trying to keep you safe by throwing you into fight or flight.

When we resist these sensations and try to get rid of them, we are in fact teaching the brain that there is indeed something to be afraid of, and the cycle continues. The first thing to do is to become curious about what it is your brain tells you to do when you are anxious. Do you start ruminating? Do you start checking that you have or have not done certain things? Do you try to find ways of controlling experiences to reduce your anxiety? There are many ways we can try to fix anxiety, but unfortunately they often make it worse.

It seems counterintuitive, but the best thing to do when anxiety spikes is to let it be there without interfering. Here are some tips on how to start doing that:

1)     Notice your surroundings

A very simple and effective way of stepping outside of the cycle of rumination or worry is to intentionally start to notice your surroundings. Slowly and deliberately look around and label three things that you can see. You can do this as many times as you like, and if you prefer, you can label sounds that you can hear instead.

2)     Get comfortable with uncertainty

A common response to anxiety is to try to control our circumstances to find certainty and therefore banish the anxiety. It will be important to give up these attempts to find a sense of certainty, and instead to increase our tolerance of uncertainty.

3)     Be willing to experience any sensation

We need to cultivate an attitude of willingness if we are going to become bigger than anxiety. This is the opposite of trying to push the anxiety or discomfort away. Instead, we learn to have an attitude of saying yes to any thought or feeling, which creates more ease than saying no and pushing the anxiety monster away. Imagine that you are inviting these feelings in for a cup of tea with the intention that they can stay as long as they like whilst you get on with doing whatever gives you meaning.

4)     Be curious about anxiety

A good way to be willing to experience feelings is to cultivate an attitude of curiosity. When anxiety arises, pretend that you are a scientist observing the phenomenon of anxiety, and see what you find. Notice what thoughts your brain is firing; do they have a theme? Bring your attention to your body – what sensations do you notice there? Are they pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral?

5)     Follow the schedule not the feeling

Often when anxiety arises, we stop what we are doing to try and solve it. Instead, welcome the anxiety with open arms and invite it along whilst you do whatever you had planned to do. You can even say ‘hey anxiety, you’re welcome to be here while I do …’. This teaches the brain that there is nothing to be afraid of, which interrupts the anxiety cycle.

Experiment with these and be curious about what happens!